When it comes to organs, your heart gets all the love. Heck, we even exchange heart-shaped cards on Valentine’s Day.…
How to Cultivate Relationships that Matter
Written by Dr. Kellyann Petrucci
Want to know one of the biggest secrets for losing weight and staying healthy? It’s your peeps!
When you have friends who truly care about you, they’ll lift you up. They won’t sabotage your fitness goals by saying, “c’mon, one slice of pizza won’t hurt” or “forget the gym—it’s a bore.” Instead, they’ll tell you to stay strong. They’ll cheer—sincerely—at each of your victories. And they’ll inspire you to try harder and reach higher.
If you need more people like this in your life, here’s my advice: Go out and find them—and when you find them, take good care of them. Here are my best tips for pulling good people into your life and keeping them there.
Find people who share your values. Your friends don’t need to have exactly the same opinions as you. In fact, some of my BFFs disagree with me when it comes to politics, music, and even (gasp) shoes! But when it comes to core values—such as transparency, loyalty, and a willingness to stand up for what’s right—we’re on the same page.
To meet people who share your values, skip the bar scene. Instead, do volunteer work for charities, your church, or other organizations you admire. It may take time, but the universe will send the right people your way.
Let your guard down. When you make new friends, be honest with them. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. To respect you, your friends need to truly know you.
Choose your inner circle wisely. “More friends” doesn’t necessarily mean “better friends.” (For instance, how many of your Facebook friends really care about you?) So be friendly with everyone, but be friends with a select few.
Prioritize your Ten. I’ve talked earlier about Damon John’s strategy, which he calls “The Ten People Closest to You” These are the people who will have the biggest positive impact on your life, so they deserve most of your time and energy. Decide who your ten people are, and always put them first. When you stand by them, they’ll stand by you.
Be there when your friends are hurting. It’s hard to know what to say or do when someone you care about is suffering—so it’s tempting to find excuses to avoid a friend who’s struggling with a divorce, a family tragedy, or a financial crisis. But if you want your friends to be there when you need them, bite the bullet and be there when they need you.
Give your friends “power-ups.” If you want your friends to help you reach your goals, help them reach theirs. If they’re dieting, bring them a batch of bone broth. If they’re out of shape, invite them to walk with you every day. Encourage them to reach for their dreams—and If they say “I can’t,” tell them, “You can.” Do what you promise. If you make commitments to your friends, follow through. Let them know that they can count on you.
Forgive. None of us is perfect, and we all screw up occasionally. A friend who constantly lets you down isn’t a real friend (and you need to ease that person out of your life)—but a friend who only rarely disappoints you is simply… well, human. Be forgiving, and you’ll be forgiven when you screw up.
These simple rules can help you pull good people into your life and make them your friends forever. And good friends—in addition to brightening your days—are one of the best prescriptions for a slim, healthy life!
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