If I we're drawing a road map to living the best life you can, I’d start with this: PUT QUALITY…
Dr Kellyann’s Primal Rules
Written by Dr. Kellyann Petrucci
I went totally dark this past week, meaning I shut everything down completely for the first time in – well, too long. I focused on nothing but what I love the most: my kids, cooking, exercising, relaxing, journaling, and planning my future. In addition, I spent precious time connecting with friends and family.
And you know me… I also spent time thinking. At the beginning of a New Year, with new paths opening up to me and lots of choices to make, here’s what I was thinking about: mistakes.
I’ve made my share of mistakes. It’s impossible not to, especially when you really want to live out your fullest purpose. That drive you have to get where you want to go in life – whether it’s to be a great mom or dad, a loving partner, a business owner, a successful executive, or just a truly happy person – will push you to go beyond what’s comfortable and make you take risks. There is a cost-benefit ratio to this. The benefit is bigger rewards. The cost is sometimes you take a nose-dive.
However, as I’ve listened to countless stories, I’ve come to realize that many mistakes come not from aiming high but from trying to take short-cuts. Short-cuts almost never work. Here’s what does: getting very clear on who you are and what you stand for. That’s the key to avoiding pitfalls in life.
Get super clear. What are your values? What do you stand for? What do you really want? This makes yes/no very simple.
If you haven’t thought about your values, then I highly recommend that you do so. Figure this stuff out. Write each value down on an index card, look at it every day, and most importantly – speak it! Say it out loud every day. If you want a promotion, write it, think it, speak it. Who cares if someone may hear you? Do it anyway. If you want to find the love of your life, your dream girl or guy – get clear. Then write it, think it, speak it. You WILL attract it.
When you meet celebrities or top executives, you’ll spot common threads. For one thing, they are more alive than most people are. They have unusual energy. Second, they know exactly what their next move on the chessboard will be. They know who they are and where they are going. There’s a reason for this – because this is how you avoid mistakes. This is how you carry out your vision.
My Primal Rules
Get clear with my Primal Rules™
Here’s what I’ve learned to do. I live my life by very clear-cut rules. This saves me from hitting the wall, feeling aimless in life, letting (or keeping) the wrong people in my life, and doing things I may regret. It’s my virtual moral compass.
I created these Primal Rules™ and live by them because they help me carry out my vision in my life with fewer nose-dives. They keep me clear and on track. They’ve guided me to become the most energetic and healthiest version of me I can be.
I call these rules primal because they’re based on our basic needs and answer our basic urges. These rules will answer your primal needs to feel safe, loved, and important. This is what I find that most people at the deepest, most primal level are really seeking.
Here are my primal rules for good health, and my personal primal rules for being the best you that you can be.
Dr Kellyann’s Primal Rules™ for Health
We have a nutritional blueprint. Science tells us this. There are foods that work best with our body, and the more we stray from these foods, the more we will become sick, tired, fat, bitchy, and bald. These foods are lean proteins, veggies, healthy fats, and some fruits, nuts, and seeds.
We are designed to move at least one hour per day. Chasing the kids, walking through the grocery store, walking to your car – it all counts. If you sit at a desk all day, you have to make an effort to move. Your life depends on it.
We need sunshine. Think of sunshine as a nutrient. You need sunshine like you do any other vitamin or mineral.
You are not meant to be under stress every day. Even low levels of stress. You are supposed to be stressed when a tiger is chasing you, or a car is about to hit you. If you are stressed all the time, you are putting yourself at risk for high blood pressure, metabolic syndrome, depression, or even cancer. But your body is doing exactly what it’s programmed to do: It’s reacting to a threatening environment. Remove yourself from the threat, and you will remove the symptoms.
Your health is directly related to the environment you choose to stay in. If you stay in an unhealthy environment, your body will adapt by creating illness. It will also adapt by causing you to crave fat and sugar – a natural response to stress. So that crazy cycle of bingeing on pizza or ice cream starts here.
Your body is like any other ecosystem. When you dump anything in it that doesn’t belong, you’ll create a ripple effect. This is biological law.
There is no such thing as “I have bad genes, so bad luck for me.” Less than 5% of people have a true genetic abnormality. How your genes play out depends on your choices – good or bad.
Medications are not designed to get you well. They are designed to get you out of a crisis. The only way you can truly get healthy is to address three things:the stressor, the deficiencies, and the toxicities.
Sleep needs to have a rhythm. You can’t ignore your body’s “sleep signals” and expect to look and feel your best. If you rise with the sun, this sunlight will regulate your hormones optimally for the day. If you sleep when it’s dark, your body will heal and restore itself. Remember: Most of your body’s repair work goes on before 1 a.m.
Dr Kellyann’s Personal Primal Rules
I have a mental doorman. I don’t just let anyone into my life. In fact, I have a very tight inner circle. What I have found is that it’s a lot harder getting people out of your life than letting them in. You can read more here.
I live in the truth. I know I’m not perfect. I have pledged to be totally transparent in what I write, what I say, and what I do. If it’s not good enough, I’m at peace with that. I will always be my best and do my best. If that doesn’t cut it, that situation is not meant for me. What I’ve learned is – and this is SUPER IMPORTANT – when an opportunity seemingly passes you by after you gave it every drop of you, it’s because something bigger is waiting. Stay the course. You can read more here.
I don’t care what people think of or say about me. I care about being true to my word. I care about being the best version of me I can be. After that, what’s left? Understand what I’m saying. I care about people, very much. But here’s the thing. If I worried about what others thought, I would squash my natural inclinations and aptitudes. You simply cannot control the thoughts of others – and moreover, what others say is completely irrelevant and inconsequential if you are giving it your all. You can read more here.
I have a “NO GOSSIP” policy. Don’t try and get scoops out of me. You can’t. I won’t go there. The people I let into my life, I protect. Gossip is simply not constructive in the workplace, or socially. It makes people uncomfortable at first when you tell them, “Sorry, I appreciate your need to talk, but I don’t share scoops, and I don’t want to go there.” In the long run, though, you become the person everyone knows they can trust.
I recognize that everything rises and falls on relationships. If you want to know what the people in your life value, look at where they spend their money and their time. Make sure you value the people in your life. Fully understand that relationship collateral is your most valuable asset. In any relationship, set the highest possible standards for yourself, and have pride. If people disappoint or hurt you in a relationship, don’t sink to their level and hurt them back. Instead, pull out a NEXT! You can read how to do that here.
And speaking of relationships…
It’s easy to get so caught up in the seriousness of deadlines and responsibilities that you forget to just take time to enjoy the people who matter to you. But there’s nothing more primal than just “hanging out” with friends and family. Playing with your peeps de-stresses you and keeps you young – and it’s the best way to banish stress and brain fog so you’ll be ready to make good decisions when that next big life challenge comes along. So don’t just value your relationships—enjoy them.
One of my favorite ways to kick back and be playful is to cook with my kids. And what’s more fun than baking together? So here’s what I’m planning to make with them this week: my sweet, crunchy Paleo Graham Crackers. Add some chocolate and some homemade Paleo marshmallows, and you have all the makings for healthy s’mores. (And how smart a choice is that? Fun and no fake stuff!) Here’s my recipe…
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